Torn By Religion

Question: My boyfriend is Muslim, and I am Catholic. He's been raised in a completely different culture. How do we overcome our differences?

Dear Torn By Religion,

There's a common assumption that interfaith relationships mean embracing one partner's religion and diminishing the other - because surely two religions can't co-exist without major problems. Yet, differences can exist within the same religion, like how holidays are celebrated, or commitment is measured. Sharing the same faith is not necessarily a shortcut to a more meaningful relationship. Overcoming any differences, regardless of your religion, requires communication and mutual respect. 

Addressing issues central to someone's identity and familial responsibilities can be delicate, but can become a catalyst for growth in all aspects of the relationship. Have an honest conversation about both of your expectations and needs. Not only will it strengthen your own religious identity but also your communication skills. By building on these foundations of understanding and acceptance, you're reinforcing your relationship to handle future conflict. 

Focus on your similarities - shared values, a shared appreciation for community, and a shared devotion to a higher power. Drawing on these will help you plan a life together that celebrates both of your values. Negotiate your differences, and remember, a relationship can not sustain without some form of compromise. 

The attitude 'love conquers all' is a very romantic idea but doesn't hold true in the real world. It's not a unique sentiment to relationships of the same faith either. What truly conquers all is respect and communication. 

Lots of love,

Gabby xx