Dealing with Rejection

Question: I've been rejected by 3 agencies in my town, and I feel devastated. Is there a point in trying again? How do you deal with rejection?

Dear Rejected,

As humans, we crave acceptance and fear rejection. We tend to associate acceptance with success, and rejection with failure. Coupled with our obsessive concern with how others perceive us, rejection can feel like a personal rebuke - so we tend to avoid it. We may find ourselves freezing at the pursuit of any ambition where there is a slight chance of hearing the word 'no.'

When we become averse to rejection, we inhibit ourselves from growing, developing resilience, and making decisions outside our comfort zone. This way of thinking is detrimental as success doesn't exist without rejection - at least not the deeply fulfilling kind. Try to see it as an opportunity to take a step back and reflect on your role in the outcome, and ask yourself, what can I do going forward to position myself better?

I was originally rejected by the agency that signed me. If I allowed my ego to beat my logic to reacting, undoubtedly, I would have felt defeated and given up there. Instead, I was patient. I spent the next couple of years attending to other interests, having a normal teenage life, and I came back with more self-confidence - or as much as you can have at 16 - and was signed on the spot. Looking back, I wasn't ready. I needed those two years (or even more) to come into my own.

Sure, instant success would have given me gratification, but the lesson that came from rejection gave me the tools to become more successful than what I could have achieved without it.

Lots of love,

Gabby  xx